Discussing a New Sibling

The story of Cal and Emmylou is a simple one. However, the book provides an opportunity to talk about the realities of a new baby in the househould. Parenting a second baby can be overwhelming. An expanding family creates a new role for the child. Parents find that they have a limited amount of time and energy available for each child. It is often a juggling process of matching the needs of a new baby and the older sibling. The book is one tool to give parents the opportunity to talk about what will happen after the new baby arrives. The end goal is to transition the the child to an older sibling role. In doing so, parents can explain the positive aspects of welcoming a new child into the family. It helps to create and build stronger bonds among new siblings.

As a newborn, Emmylou does have much reaction to whatever Cal tries to do. This allows parents to explain what to expect when a newborn arrives home. Parents can reassure the older child that the baby will become more interactive as the months go by. Cal, as the older sibling, tries to find his own way to connect with Emmylou. Notice many of his attempts do not work. But Cal's persistence pays off for him in the form of a smile. It is that small nonverbal gesture that many adults seek with a baby, so imagine the joy when Cal achieves a smile from Emmylou.

Discussion can come out of reading this book with your child. First, it lets the child know that they have a role in the changes that occur with a new sibling. Let the child know of their involvment as an older sibling. Celebrate their new role in being an older brother or sister. Discuss the importance of your child in the love and caring for the newborn. Talk about things your older child can do to help. Provide your child with opportuniites to discuss how they can show their love.

Second, let your child know that newborns cannot do much yet. Let them know that the reactions from their new sister or brother will increase over time. Newborns are cuddly but do no do much other than eat, sleep and need diaper changing. As they grow, babies smile, reach for your finger and react in a way that let others know they are important. Build on the importance of connecting in nonverbal ways: a smile, a touch, tone of voice when you chat with a baby.

Third, help your child understand that they are still important. Reassure the child that you will always love and care for them. Encourage them to ask questions and talk about their concerns. Assurances help to bridge feelings away from potential jealousy to one of love and joy.